Of Highways and English Debutantes

That blinding flash of light that chases the life out of you.

A horn blared right into her ear as she went to cross the highway that ran at the northern boundaries of the small town. She stepped back fast onto the curb, her heart strongly pulsing, and secured her books against her chest as the Canter sped by. It was a double carriage highway with two lanes going both directions. There was a stone bordered dirt path separating them, and a dog was trapped there. It had a limp in one of its hind legs, indicating it had been run over once already. Long-distance trailers and smaller cars zoomed by, making it impossible to cross. Every time it inched forward onto the road oncoming vehicles would hoot at it so it yowled and stepped back. It made such heart wrenching whimpers and yelps that the girl had a mind to jump into traffic to save him. She stood there for a minute, aching in the pumper, watching the animal struggle to brave the work of man, but she was late for class, and she needed to be gone. As she started ahead, she kept turning back to see if it was still alive. She really hated that she couldn’t help. She doubted the animal would make it against the trailers.  

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…Like the Duchess you are.

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I distance myself from my feelings so I never know what I want to say when I want to say something. I mean, I know I need to say something but I don’t know what because I don’t know why. It’s important for me to know why because I need a reason for things. I need to know structure so I can deduce meaning and then understand what it is that must be communicated. It’s hard to do that when you aren’t close to your subject matter. To understand it you must become it. Lol, I avoid that. I avoid association with that icky yucky, sticky cesspool that is human emotion. Whenever I feel it coming on (much too frequently these days for my peace of mind), I actively ignore it. It’s there, and that’s frustrating enough, but I make sure I don’t give it a voice. It mustn’t take hold. I never allow it to take hold.

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Inhale

monster illustration
Photo by Tookapic on Pexels.com

 

There are days in life when you know exactly what’s going on, who’s where, and how everything will eventually turn out. Days when you’re at the top of your game. Days when you are nigh on clairvoyant(!), about everything that happens – you are prepared! Nothing gets past you. You are Bruce Lee and tasks are all those opponents who get their asses handed to them a beating a minute. You are a master of ‘Enter the Dragon, The Drunken Master, and Dude in a Ditch.’ And who doesn’t like days like these. When everything just seems to fall into place. What is effort at a time like this, do you even – I have never heard of such a thing. I was born this way. Continue reading “Inhale”